Meditation With Minimal Woo-Woo
A non-spiritual way to dump debris and clear your mind
[Photo by Free To Use Sounds]
Living in Asia exposes your senses and sensibilities to new offerings.
On the healthy side are yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, Qigong, massage, cupping and acupuncture. It is not easy to dismiss these cultural practices as meritless without giving one or two a good go.
After years of pessimism about liking yoga, I joined a class to test the cultural waters. I never felt that I had the patience for it. Soaked in sweat after the first session, I learned two things very quick. First, I am a very tight-ass white boy. Second, yoga kicked my ass. It was a revelation to be physically spent and embarrassed at the same time.
There is a quiet calm and respect about yoga that I admire. And it doesn’t require any spiritual enlightenment either. My body just tells me the raw truth.
Now, on to meditation. There is nothing overdone more than mindfulness and meditation. It is a marketing bonanza. There are luxury retreats and quite caves available to devote days to the practice. You can download apps like Headspace, Calm, Insight Timer or Waking Up with Sam Harris.
The noise associated with meditation is excessive. First, the Transcendental Meditation movement in America gave rise to the woo-woo of special training and personal mantras. This is marketing on spiritual steroids.
The next phase of the Great American Way dealt with the proliferation of guided meditation. These soft-spoken gurus invade your personal headspace like a stranger tip-toeing their way through your home while stealing the electronics and jewelry.
Guided meditation is an oxymoron. I equate them to hecklers at a standup comedy club. I’m doing my routine and getting into the groove, when out of the darkness a voice whispers:
What part of your body is most relaxed?
Take a deep breath in.... now exhale.
Breathe in.... and out.
Continue to breathe slowly, smoothly.
I don’t want to answer questions when I meditate. I want to relax, be still and empty my mind. Meditation is too personal for me to add anyone to the program.
Here is an actual list of guided meditation scripts for you to use:
Counting Meditation
Learn an Instrument Meditation
Meditation for Acting
Overcoming procrastination
Relaxation for Positive Self-Image
Unlike yoga, I did not find meditation practitioners in Asia from which to gain insights. The field seems so dominated by western-oriented entities. So, I watched lots of YouTube videos and tried out the free apps. Nothing connected with my ornery outlook.
It was obvious that I needed to find my own pathway. Armed with advice and tips from hours of video lessons, I sat in a chair, closed my eyes and focused on my belly breathing. After 15 seconds, there was a damn riot going off in my head. Forget, guided meditation; I heard unguided mayhem running wild in my brain. It was a disaster.
A key aside. I dream every night. I remember them ninety percent of the time. They are not stories, they are snippets. They don’t make sense beyond a familiar person or place. And there are multiple scenarios that jump around and don’t connect. I often wake up with a ‘heavy brain’. It drains energy instead of refreshing it.
In Why We Sleep, the researcher Matthew Walker talks about how the brain functions during sleep:
As we enter REM sleep and dreaming takes hold, an inspired form of memory mixology begins to occur. The brain becomes actively biased toward seeking out the most distant, non-obvious links between sets of information.
I can take a twenty minute nap and dreams appear. They’ve become a nuisance. This is the main reason behind my quest to seek out a meditative solution.
In my opinion, the woo-woo warehouse is full of unnecessary items that try to preset your meditative soul and spirit. Certain sitting postures and hand positions feel more like being a club member, rather than preparing you for a personal journey. It feels phoney.
It’s odd, because the Sukhasana sitting yoga position feels like a very appropriate way to finish off an exercise session. But that comes after a solid physical workout, so the mind and body are ready to relax and absorb the accomplishment.
Meditation is different. It is not physical. The mental workout is constant. It requires different tactics to calm down the chatter and clean out the debris field.
In the trial and error phase, I tried out various body positions and mental tricks. I sat in stable chairs and swinging chairs. I sat upright in bed against the headboard. I laid out in bed with full body spread eagle. I laid out in bed with a slight head recline on a pillow. I used a mantra word. I wiggled my toes and concentrated on relaxing body parts. My eyes kept closed, but my mind was open for business as usual.
I worked in the rainforest, so I understand the power of nature to be spiritual. And I’ve always preferred natural rivers over large oceans. Rainforests and rivers resonate with my personal rhythm. So the next meditation trial run included background sounds of light rainfall, chirping birds and flowing streams at low volume levels.
This technique worked to fill in the gap that exists between a meditative state and the rest of the head space that is not fully engaged. The soft sounds build up a buffer zone to keep the chatter out. Total silence is too inviting.
The next evolution in my meditation practice derived from finding the right body position. When focusing on mental matters, I don’t want body parts interrupting the procedure. That means no crossed legs, no folded arms and minimal contact points.
Two positions served this criteria. The first is sitting upright in bed (or a soft chair in a pinch) with legs splayed out. The second is laying down in bed with an angled head rest and limbs laid out gingerbread man style. The key is not to feel the pressure of any body part against another. It frees up the mind to focus only on the mind.
At this juncture, all systems were go: background noise (check), body position (check), sound system (check), no one else on the premises (check). Scobi, you are ready for mental lift off (pun intended).
I set the alarm for 12 minutes. I pushed play to hear nature sounds or light post-rock instrumental music. I sat upright in the bed and closed my eyes. I fidgeted with my legs a bit and scratched my arms. As I settled in, all the physical aspects complied with the program.
In my mind, the thoughts spilled out of my brain hard and heavy. I refocused my attention and saw my mind as a river. As the thoughts rolled in from the frontal lobe, I pushed them downstream and washed them away. They exited from the back of my head. The debris started to clear away. Each time a thought appeared, the water flow edged it out of existence.
The alarm rang out. The session was over. I opened my eyes and gazed into space. I was not sure what just happened. I stood up and felt a different sensation. My head was lighter. It was like a cleanup crew came in, scooped up all the thoughts littering my mind, loaded the dump truck and hauled it away.
My mind was emptied. It was a complete surprise. The ‘heavy brain’ disappeared.
I now practice meditation every few days. It’s effectiveness varies, but it works for me. I meditate in the morning hours. I need to clear those dreams from the night before. I do not attach any spiritual well-being to the practice. It’s a mental exercise with metaphysical benefits.
Yoga and meditation can function on both spiritual and physical planes. Each individual needs to seek out the right balance in the equation. For me, the physical aspects are primary.
To illustrate the point, mediation lessens the load on my brain. Another telltale sign is yawing. When meditating, yawning exhales the tiredness from my limp body. I’ve kept count. In a 12 to 15 minute session, I’ve yawned between 10 to 18 times. It just pours out of my system.
Yoga and meditation are ancient practices. But don’t be afraid to add your own twists to the methodologies. Experiment with your senses, mental and physical. Ancient ways are reliable for a reason. Modern application integrates science and pragmatism to expand the appeal.
Whether woo-woo or not, explore the outer boundaries of your mind and body that fit your personal attributes, not your marketing type.